I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
