i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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