If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
