A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
