i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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