I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
