Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
