I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Everclear isn't food dammit
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