Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
