I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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