Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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