How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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