physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
