Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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