Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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