I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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