it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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