We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
