Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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