i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.