i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.