Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
3pm strippers are depressing
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.