We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE