If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy