I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
