the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
