So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
