We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
