I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
