how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
