I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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