Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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