So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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