is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
