the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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