After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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