In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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