I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You are the jesus of drinking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
