today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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