If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize