i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
