anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
