Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
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I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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