question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
