You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
