no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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