As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think your dad took our porno
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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