i already hear my dad disowning me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
