on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
