I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
