I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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