He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
