Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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