Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize