i may or may not be watching the land before time
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
