Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you had me at cake vodka
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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