That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
