hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
as a side note pls kill me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize