I'm drive I can fine osifer
...so i touched it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
