I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
